Ugh.. it's becoming harder to post a lot. And I can't get facebook to import my xanga anymore - so wierd.... anyway. I'm going home tonight late after I get off work at the station and I'll be driving the rest of the night. Tomorrow it's lake time!! Nothing like zipping around the lake in a fast boat with the wind in your face and the water spraying up every once in a while... *sigh.

I'm ready for a change.... like a big one. I'm tired of my apartment (basement apartments are just gloomy) and  I'm ready to move somewhere... maybe even home. Cost of living is sooooo much cheaper there, I could rent a good-sized house for what I pay in rent here. A house with a guest room and a large kitchen and a fenced in back yard that's not smack in the middle of town... maybe just outside of town and not far from the lake. That sounds nice.

I need need NEED to get on the ball with this tape stuff. I'm so lazy!  Rather, I'm so sidetracked! I just make these excuses to do other things. I just finished editing my second resume tape and I need to dub a hundred copies and send them out.... OR I could become a swimsuit model and be handed a job in Tyler, Texas, with no education, hard work or training whatsoever. And people can watch on their TVs on Fox every week and make a mockery of journalism.

I think.... I need to pack bc... I'M going to the LAKE! YAYYYYYYYY! not for a lot of hours, but still  -- YAYYYY!!

I keep refering to my classes, my teachers, my school... I need to say, "BAck in college..." SO wierd.

I can't sleep.

I want to go somewhere exciting and adventurous.

I want to eat a cold piece of watermelon right now.

Here's a shocker: I like to run! I never knew it! All the other times, I was made to run. Like in  PED 100 and and PED whatever - weight lifting.  But lately, when I'm out power walking I just wish I could run and get back to the station faster (I walk for my break). *sigh.... I mean I REALLY like it! Well, so only at the nature center. I should have done cross country in HS.

I have come to the conclusion in contemplating the actions of those around me that in a hoodie, I look gay; In a t-shirt, I look ugly; and in a cute shirt, I must be somewhat alright. The other day, driving home a car full of girls asked for my number. I was in a hoodie. Never wore it again, either. When I wear t-shirts, I get no reaction from people whatsoever. But when I wear a cute top, I have to keep my windows rolled up so I don't have to talk to guys at stoplights!

Tell you what, let's go to ILA tomorrow!!! Nothin' like the Fourth of July....

I spend 2 hours watching news bloopers and I'm still laughing. I cried, I laughed so hard. For a good time, search on youtube.com for news bloopers. Lorchcast, especially (world's worst sports segment EVER).

"And after the break, So and so climbs a mountain all by himslef... but he's gay! -oh blind! I meant blind. He's blind!"

"and there you see the cows, Black and Gus....."  "you don't suppose that Black and Gus were Black Angus cows do you?"

Goodness.

Nana-Papa are coming in the morning. I should hit the hay.

I like my job, but it's not entirely sufficient. I mean, I run camera for the news - which I love to do. Especially floor-directing. And b/t the 6 and 10, I have nothing to do (as long as the set has been cleaned, lighting equiptment and props put away, and warehouse and studio swept, vaccumed, and wiped down - which lately, we've been tackling this as a team and finishing in a day or two.) So for the rest of the week, I get to read, go walking, exercise, or watch TV during that huge time span. It's not a bad job at all! But where's the excitement in reading?

And what exactly am I doing to get myself into position to do something worthwhile? I've sent out 3 tapes. 3. I was supposed to send about a hundred, but somewhere after sending the first three, I keep telling myself to get the tape better before sending it to the stations. Reshoot some stuff, do a read-through on the great new set at work and really get a solid tape. Meanwhile, I sit here writing on xanga rather than practicing live shots, and letting my hair air-dry instead of spending some quality time in front of the mirror. How's that for motivation?

I've enjoyed my stint as being lazy Jen for a month (especially after the most busy and miserable year of my life... the last year of j-school [that's not really even a real j-school]). Now it's time to work at getting a job as if it were my job. I'm going to schedule an appt for a haircut (*whince :O(   ) and go to Sephora and spend too much money on the good stuff to get myself looking like a real reporter and not a college reporter. I'll do a run-through by the end of next week, throw it in my tape and get it to a dubbing house.

If I'm going to call the Al-Rashid my home any time in the next 10 years, I need to get a reporter job or producer job soon so I can get practiced enough to convince someone I'm serious about getting over there and getting a darn-good story - the truth - even if it gets me kicked out or arrested. Because America has the right to know. I'm so sick of this embed stuff and I'm also sick of the independent journalists getting kidnapped or killed. HOWEVER - of the American ones, it's been almost ALL men. So I'm good, right?  They don't go after women journalists as much. I'm not sure why. But the numbers don't lie (or maybe they do. The site I got that from was a site that advertises for embed jobs, so they wouldn't want to scare anyone off.) I know it's dangerous, but MAN would it be eye-opening and a chance to see journalism at its best (because I'd go to jail before I let someone sensor my stuff) I am NOT condoning giving away military secrets like where you're located- for that you SHOULD be arrested and kicked out. I'm just saying it's wrong to get kicked out for shooting and airing video of a bullet-ridden hummer. That's just stupid. A large part of why America is against the war is the military influence on the media. They don't know what is real and what isn't. And that's what I want to go get: the truth.